Advice Column
There has always been a part of me that wanted to be the author of a newspaper advice column. I heard about them as a kid, and as kids often do, I thought, yeah, I could do that. I didn't realize at the time that someone actually had to want my advice before I could give it, let alone publish it!
Even now, I have a desire to give whatever advice I can to those who want it. However, I've often taken the route of offering advice and solutions when they weren't even requested. I can't help but to try to fix things sometimes, especially when, to me, the solution seems so glaringly obvious!
But counseling classes, seven years of marriage, and personal experiences otherwise have all taught me that sometimes (OK, most of the time), people just want someone to listen. In today's society, everybody has an opinion on just about everything, and it's not uncommon for someone to give you their opinion, solution, or "expertise," whether or not what they're talking about is even their business.
I'd like to think that once upon a time, parents could actually take responsibility for their kids without someone else stepping in to scold them right in front of their parents. Or perhaps people could have been friends with each other regardless of who each of them was voting for in the next presidential election. Maybe, just maybe, we could accept the fact that the are different ways of doing things that aren't necessarily wrong, but that perhaps the conflicted person just needs to learn for themselves. Sometimes, the ill-advised choices we make today help us to make much better choices in the future.
So here's what I suggest:
If someone offers you advice, take it with a grain of salt. You're ultimately responsible for your choices.
If someone asks for your advice, give it freely, but remember that they're ultimately responsible for their choices.
If someone doesn't ask for your advice but just wants to talk, let them. Be an open, active listener, and regardless of the decisions they make through the course of the conversation, do your best to refrain from unsolicited solutions.
Also, if a situation is truly none of your business, stay out of it.
Most importantly, in all of these types of situations, be actively in prayer for the other party. You ultimately have no idea what God is working in their lives, but keep putting them and yourself in His hands.
Take my advice.
Or don't.
I suppose that's up to you.
Even now, I have a desire to give whatever advice I can to those who want it. However, I've often taken the route of offering advice and solutions when they weren't even requested. I can't help but to try to fix things sometimes, especially when, to me, the solution seems so glaringly obvious!
But counseling classes, seven years of marriage, and personal experiences otherwise have all taught me that sometimes (OK, most of the time), people just want someone to listen. In today's society, everybody has an opinion on just about everything, and it's not uncommon for someone to give you their opinion, solution, or "expertise," whether or not what they're talking about is even their business.
I'd like to think that once upon a time, parents could actually take responsibility for their kids without someone else stepping in to scold them right in front of their parents. Or perhaps people could have been friends with each other regardless of who each of them was voting for in the next presidential election. Maybe, just maybe, we could accept the fact that the are different ways of doing things that aren't necessarily wrong, but that perhaps the conflicted person just needs to learn for themselves. Sometimes, the ill-advised choices we make today help us to make much better choices in the future.
So here's what I suggest:
If someone offers you advice, take it with a grain of salt. You're ultimately responsible for your choices.
If someone asks for your advice, give it freely, but remember that they're ultimately responsible for their choices.
If someone doesn't ask for your advice but just wants to talk, let them. Be an open, active listener, and regardless of the decisions they make through the course of the conversation, do your best to refrain from unsolicited solutions.
Also, if a situation is truly none of your business, stay out of it.
Most importantly, in all of these types of situations, be actively in prayer for the other party. You ultimately have no idea what God is working in their lives, but keep putting them and yourself in His hands.
Take my advice.
Or don't.
I suppose that's up to you.
I rarely give advice, even when asked. And if I do I usually provide several alternatives. You could A or B. or have you considered C?
ReplyDeleteAh yes, I've gotten your advice in that style before.
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